Posted by: Liz Grover | April 18, 2009

Burning Man

So we went to Burning Man, back in 2007, but didn’t realize that we didn’t blog about it until now.  I wrote about it and our trip to the Redwood Forest the other day, so I’ll just post it here instead of duplicating work.  I would write about it specifically for this blog, but I have so much writing to do for many things right now. Enjoy.-Liz
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Sam At Burning Man

Burning Man, an art and music festival mish mashed with outrageous costumes, thousands of nomadic subculture dreamers, cracked alkaline desert floors, techno hippies, geodesic domes, and the bonfires and flame dancers that illuminate the most colorful of dreamscapes and darkest Nevada nights. Imagine Mardi Gras meets desert rave with a side of Salvador Dali. This cosmic gathering takes place every year during the last week of August leading up to Labor Day weekend.

I had always wanted to go to Burning Man, but was never in the country when it happened. Many of my friends had been going for years, glorifying and stoking my senses of what it would be, and it was on my list of things I had to do at least once in my life. I decided to go because I wasn’t sure if I would have this chance again.

This journey into the heart and heat of Nevada’s raw wilderness and the Black Rock Desert with Sam was as uncharted as our new relationship. It was a new land to navigate, sometimes with unexpected elements that couldn’t be marked by a mere roadmap. This would be Sam’s first big American road trip and he was a Burning Man virgin, too. It was to be his first American festival, first camping experience sleeping in a tent and first time in the Nevada and California desert lands. It would be our first road-trip together, an essential test for any relationship in my life. I had tried to travel with different partners in the past, but things always fell to pieces. Traveling isn’t just a holiday breeze. It takes work. It opens your mind and heart in new ways and leaves you vulnerable and tenderized, exposing the best and worst of your soul. I knew that my life partner would be the one I could easily travel with, the one who could flow like water. Maybe Sam was it.

Liz On Mini BikeWe hopped into Sam’s Mini Cooper and burnt rubber nomadic tracks for Burning Man, with two mini kid bikes strapped to the back and a trunk jam-packed with a tent, sleeping bags, outlandish costumes (all of which were mine of course) food, bathing and general living supplies. We took the tike bikes along because the car wasn’t big enough for adult sized bikes and we needed something for festival transport. Cars are not allowed on the dusty sand-like “playa” of Burning Man unless they are permitted works of art, better known as art cars. Just like life, Burning Man relies on the individual. You are responsible and in charge of your experience. It’s not a place where you buy your supplies. You have to bring everything needed for a week of survival in the barren, uninhabitable desert flats. Burning Man does have a culture of giving, just for the pleasure of it. It was just like what I saw Kali Baba do back in Nepal. Once the giving gets going, it starts a chain reaction of more giving until it turns itself into its own gift economy.

Because the experiences Sam and I had, in and around our Burning Man adventure, could practically fill a graphic novel, I will cut to a brief story of synchronicity. In the daytime at Burning Man, Sam and I mostly took refuge under shade structures close to our campsite. We found one small geodesic dome about two minutes away that served fresh iced chai every afternoon for free, and that’s where Sam found some really cool comic books about cosmic elves. He could barely stand the heat so he sat there propped on throw pillows, reading about the elves and their galactic adventures on most days.

One morning, I left Sam to his elfish journeys and went to visit my dear friend Greg who just happened to be in the neighboring campsite. Greg was playing the part of a sage, reciting mantras and poetic verses on the fly about the beauty of life to those who passed by. As always, he was roused and professing his love for the oneness that is the world. I sat down and watched Greg prepare some kind of morning smoothie, made from cacao, coconut and something green. Knowing Greg’s habits, it was probably spirulina. One of his mystic cohorts was sitting with him and equally reflected Greg’s delight, with his crescent smile and tranquil movements.

Burning Man ArtI had my tin lunchbox with me with the face of the Hindu goddess Kali on one side and the Hindu god Brahma on the other. It was full of incense and yummy things to burn as offerings for meditation ceremony or to simply clear the air. I had brought some special amber tree sap for burning at the festival that I knew Greg would appreciate. Its smell had an aromatic zest, much like frankincense. I opened my lunchbox on the ground from where I sat. The lid clunked and rattled as I flung it to the ground, and within seconds, I heard “Little butterfly, it’s you! Putalee!” I froze and knew there was only one answer. Only people who have been to see Kali Baba (my guru who I studied with in Nepal) would know that name. Greg’s friend had sat with Kali Baba in Nepal, far away from Black Rock City, Nevada! I gazed at my lunchbox for a second and identified the trigger. It was a beautiful picture of Kali Baba smiling with big sun-lit dimples under the ancient tree next to his mud hut in Nepal. I had it attached to the inside of my lunchbox lid, which was appropriate since it contained all of my meditation gear.

I said, “So you’ve seen Kali Baba?” He said, “Yes! Kali Baba showed me a picture of you wearing butterfly wings and told me all about you. I was the first one to sleep in your house when its construction was finished.” Wow! This man had stayed in my Himalayan hut! During a short visit to Nepal, I paid for a small house to be built for when I returned, so I could have a space for myself when I revisited. I had witnessed the laying of the foundation, but then had to leave before the house was finished. When I met this well-traveled, bearded backpacker at Burning Man, I had only seen pictures of the finished product. It was a round house, pink from the dirt of which it was made, and it had a slate roof that was sectioned off like an umbrella. It was twenty feet in diameter and it looked like Bilbo Baggins himself lived inside.

I felt like I was on one of those hidden camera TV shows where someone jumps out and says, “Surprise! We were watching you the whole time!” It probably wouldn’t have surprised me if Kali Baba came leaping out in the flesh as we sat there. Kali Baba’s magic seemed to have no trouble finding me, even in places like this, so distant from his earthen home in the foothills of the Himalayas, in Nepal.

Just when I think I’ve seen it all… Out of the thousands of people who I could have run into at Burning Man, here was the guy who knew my Nepali name and had sat with my guru. Some folks at Burning Man definitely ingest recreational psychedelics, but it’s because of moments like these that I do not. Life is high and trippy enough in sobriety.  Greg, who always seems to be around when these things happen to me, erupted in rounds of giggles and said, “So you’ve met li’l butterfly?” to his friend.

Sam's LegsI ran back with arms and legs fluttering in glee to explain to Sam what happened in panting breaths. It was another sign reminding me of the interconnectedness of all my journeys and existence. Sam was amazed but had a hard time showing it. He was pale with a soar throat and runny nose that was progressively getting drippier throughout the day. With the heat, dust storms and fight to stay hydrated, Burning Man was not the best place to be sick. Sam asked me if we could leave, and I said yes, without hesitation. I wanted Sam to be comfortable, and honestly, I didn’t feel that great either. I had a hard time sleeping at the festival. No longer a night owl like I used to be, I would head to bed before the crowds, but the constant DJ base beats echoing and blaring from one direction or another, made slumber illusive. My earplugs weren’t cutting it and, after four nights of this, I was ready for something else.

As with every year at Burning Man, the effigy man himself is torched and burnt to a crisp at the end of the festival. This is the climatic moment that keeps people bubbling and pulsing with anticipation throughout the week. It’s truly ceremonial, symbolizing the destruction and purification that paves the way for new things to come. Being somewhat of a fire worshipper, I wanted to see the man burn, but finding a better situation for Sam was much more important. Flashy, dazzling endings don’t excite me as much as they used to. It’s what it takes to get there that I find the most fascinating and Sam and I had already done that.

Sam in the RedwoodsSam had taken the whole week off from work so, even though he wasn’t feeling great, we decided to take our time returning to Portland. Since it was conveniently located on the way home, we drove to the exact opposite of Burning Man’s climate; the dank and mossy shaded groves of the Redwood Forest nestled in the northern coastal region of California. This was another favorite nature destination of mine where I’ve frolicked many times. Yet again, this was another place that Sam had never visited and I was happy to expose him to the moisture, ancient air and grandeur of the colossal redwood trees. We didn’t stay too long, but we did go on an hour-long hike at the foot of those giants armored in thick spongy bark. The snappy air smelled of mulch and green life forms. There was no direct sun on the trail, only lace-patterned light that filtered through the dense mesh of the trees. An Ewok would have felt at home here with the gargantuan ferns and lichen that spread out like wall-to-wall carpeting on the forest floor. I took a picture of Sam looking up the length of a redwood tree trunk. The comparison in size made him look as small as a squirrel. Nature was so grand – we stood in awe.

We got back to Portland and I was truly amazed by how well Sam and I got along after a solid week together on the road. He was easy going, even when he was getting sick in the harsh conditions of the desert. He never whined, and even with the unusual challenges of Burning Man and life on the road, we maneuvered through it, smashingly well. I was thrilled at this development because as a constant traveler, I couldn’t foresee a successful long-term partnership if we weren’t able to enjoy each other’s company on the road.

Posted by: samgrover | November 8, 2008

Our trip to Crater Lake

One week after our Portland wedding, Liz and I went to the Crater Lake National Park area for a couple of days. That was our first time there.

Us at Diamond Lake

We left on a Friday evening, spent the night in Roseburg and next morning took the beautiful and leisurely drive along the Umpqua river to Crater Lake National Park. As we got close to our destination, we saw Mt Thielsen. It has a jagged and sharp peak and I found it to be quite stirring. Once inside the national park area, there were many other natural wonders to see. The Pumice desert was impressively flat and open. It was inviting us to get off the road and walk around a bit and so we did. Next up, we got to the Rim Drive where we got our first sight of the lake, and it was awesome. Deep blue still water, with steep cliffs and some slopes that were snowy even in the peak of summer.

Liz at Crater Lake

Rim Drive goes around the caldera and provides access several places, including the trail that leads to the lake, Cloudcap road, the Pinnacles, the Rim Village. We visited each of those. The one mile trail that led to the lake was quite comfortable and we were down at the lake in no time. There was a crowd there about to head out to Wizard Island in the boat. Liz found an excellent spot shielded by rocks. We sat there and soaked in the tranquility. After a while, we headed back up. Next, we visited Cloudcap road which is the highest point of the rim and sports an expansive view of the lake. From there we went to the Pinnacles, which are columns of stem and gas release vents that have been exposed through centuries of erosion. I had never seen anything like it before and was quite impressed.

The Pinnacles at Crater Lake

Following that we had a snack at the Rim Village and headed towards Diamond Lake. We had booked in advance at the Diamond Lake Resort, but a few seconds after checking out that motel room, we decided to upgrade to escape its supreme ugliness. Soon, we were checked into a lakeside cabin. The next day we rented a motor boat and went out on the lake. Liz and I took turns at the helm. This was another first for me and I enjoyed steering the boat when the wind was favorable. Other angles were not as much fun. The view of Mt Thielsen was very cool.

Mt Thielsen

Later that day we headed back to Portland via a different route. On the road we came across several folks headed to Burning Man and this brought back fun memories from when we went there last year. We stopped for a snack in Eugene. It was my first time there. On that warm Sunday afternoon, it was idyllic. A good transition from the stillness of the lakes to the hustle and bustle of home.

A set of all our photos from this trip is in my Flickr photostream, titled: Crater Lake Trip, August 2008.

Posted by: Liz Grover | October 5, 2008

We Got Married!

 

Sam and Liz Grover-Our Wedding in Portland

Sam and Liz Grover-Our Wedding in Portland

On August 16th, Sam and I were married in Portland, Oregon at the Movement Center, a spiritual center of meditation & yoga that comes from the lineage of Baghwan Nityananda.  It was better than I ever thought a wedding could be with its beauty and simplicity. (See some pics here)

Sam had a traditional Indian outfit and I fashioned a fiery orange silk dress that was made in Cambodia by a family that has their own silk farm.  We were married in the meditation hall with paintings of Shiva, Bodhisattvas, Padmasambhava, and Buddha.  There were also statues of Nityananda and Rudrananda, some of my favorite master spirits/guides. 

The ceremony was perfect and short: no long-winded talks.  Everything that was said had great meaning.  Sam made a speech saying why he loved me and it totally made me cry.  I too made a speech professing my love.  It was quite moving.  Swami Prakashananda performed the ceremony and what he had to say about love and marriage was very touching; he did an amazing job for his first wedding ceremony ever.

Many of our friends were there-some of my friends from the ashram and around Portland.  Sam’s friends were there–some from his days at PSU, his Flickr circle, and from when he first came to Portland.  The best part for me was that my parents showed up; this was the first time they visited me here in Portland and the first time my mom came out west.  They were here for over a week and we had so much fun.  We even took a chairlift up Mount Hood two days before the wedding =)

After the ceremony we took as much downtime as we possibly could and then went on to Alexis Restaurant where we ate kebab, hummus, among other Greek treats and even saw a belly dancer.  After, we raged into the night at the Someday Lounge where Bollywood music filled the air.  How fitting :)  

Finally and thankfully, our night ended at Pala.  Everyone really cut loose (see pics and laugh here), so I don’t think it would have been safe for our livers if we had decided to continue.  

We had our wedding in Portland for those who could not make it to India.  We are now preparing for that wedding which will be on December 10th in New Delhi.  This will be a slightly different and more traditional format that will go on for more than one day.  

We have not had a honeymoon yet, but will take it after the Indian wedding. We are going to one of my favorite places in the world: Bali!  Can’t wait!!!

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P.S. It should be noted that even though Sam and I didn’t date until last year, I met with him once for tea during the time I stopped in Portland between my trips to Afghanistan and Cambodia.  I thought to myself how it was a nice time and how I could see myself with him. It was a passing thought that fled within the blink of an eye.  Funny how things worked out all these years later =)

Posted by: Liz Grover | October 5, 2008

Our Trip to Maine

 

Sam at Thunder Hole

Sam at Thunder Hole

Sam and I went to Maine in the beginning of July and it’s long overdue that I mention it in our joint blog. Yeah-it’s a little late, being October and all, but it’s been a very busy summer.

Our wedding was on August 16th and I wanted Sam to meet my parents and see where I spent some of my golden days of youth before our ceremony.  First, we went to Searsport, Maine on the ocean where my parents live and then we went on to Bar Harbor which is on Mount Desert Island.  There you can find the beautiful Acadia National Park, the only national park in the Northeast. It’s a very colorful place filled with pine trees and a pink granite coastline.

In Acadia National Park, we drove around the world famous Park Loop Road which cuts through the mountains and ocean scenery.  We tried to stop at Sand Beach, but as usual it was way too crowded so we opted to stop at Thunder Hole just down the road. 

After the more touristy visits, I took Sam and my parents to a part of the island where most people haven’t been or even know about:  Wonderland.  When I lived on this island after high school, I would escape to Wonderland’s rocky shelves and shoals to get away from the buzz of the busier, more popular parts of the island.  In Wonderland I always felt like I was at the edge of the world, surrounded by what seemed like an endless ocean and stunning and wide views the island’s whole mountain range.

Unfortunately we were only there for three days.  I hope we can spend more lazy summer days there in the future.

View more images from our trip here.

Posted by: samgrover | June 19, 2008

Contact

Liz and I met on tribe.net. I don’t recall how I came across her profile but this is the profile photo I saw there.

Fire

Here is our first conversation. I wrote:

Fri, March 12, 2004 - 3:53 PM
Hi
That's a cool picture you have there liz. Red looks like a nice contrast with your skin
color. So, what were you decorated up for?
Sam

Then Liz wrote:

Fri, March 12, 2004 - 4:14 PM
Namaste-It was New Years eve at the Om downtown and I was supposed to be fire. It
definitely felt like I was on fire after a while. Luckily I had some watery clothing that
I put on after to put it out before I turned into ash-much peace in your day-liz

Then she wrote another mail a few minutes later:

Fri, March 12, 2004 - 4:21 PM
Do you have family in India? I lived in Nepal last year and I'll be going back this
fall. That's where my true home (of many lifetimes of course) is even though I may look
like a white Irish-American girl. Acha acha... My hindi doesnt go past that. My Nepali
is fluent so I'm sure hindi won't be a problem. Shanti Shanti-liz (titalee is my
hindi-given name).

I responded [note that 'titalee' is the Hindi word for 'butterfly']:

Fri, March 12, 2004 - 5:08 PM
Namaste Butterfly,
I hardly ever use "Namaste". Only with some relatives when I visit India.
Yea, I have family there. Everyone. Well, almost everyone, a few are in different parts
of the world. I have been in in the US for about 4.5 years now.
Pretty cool, living in Nepal. I went there a loooong time ago. Have just a few memories
of that visit and those are due to photos taken at that time. Dunno when I will go back
there although I would surely like to. I like the Himalayas. Loved Kashmir when I went
there once and I go to Shimla as often as I can. I visited India in Dec-Jan recently. It's
always fun to go home.
I have no idea about Nepali. I love to talk in Hindi (with slangs, of course) but dislike
reading it. Used to suck at it in school.
So, why were you in Nepal last year? And what do you do here in PDX?
Take care,
Sam
P.S. Satyajit is my given name, but my sister started calling me Sam one day and it stuck.

A few days later I wrote again since I hadn’t heard back from her:

Fri, March 19, 2004 - 11:02 AM
Hi
How are you? I had sent a response to your mails a few days ago but didn't hear from you
after that so I was wondering if you got that or not. Anyway, hope you had a good week.
Take care,
Sam

Later that day, she wrote:

Fri, March 19, 2004 - 2:52 PM
Re: Hi
Sam-Namaste dai-I did not get your message, but send another one if you want. Maybe
sometime we can meet up for tea next week. I won't be here in POrtland for much longer
but I want to meet you. I'll be going to Northern India a lot over the next couple of
years so maybe we can even meet up in India. In 1 month I'm leaving to go and work in
Afghanistan-Jalalabhad so I will be very close to INdia and vacationing there a lot. I
have some friends in Daramsala and Dehli. Much peace in your day-hope to see you
soon-liz Om Shanti

So I sent her a copy of my last mail, and also the following:

Fri, March 19, 2004 - 4:10 PM
Re: Hi
Liz,
I have resent the previous message so hopefully you should get it too.
I am curious about why you are going to Afghanistan, especially considering the situation
there and current events. Meeting in India would be nice but I have no idea when I would be
going. We can surely meet in Portland. Any day after 4pm would be cool.
Enjoy,
Sam

After a bit of scheduling we met up at the Tao of Tea on SE 34th and Belmont. She suggested the place. It was my first time there. We had a nice chat about her past and upcoming travels over some tea and snacks. About an hour later, we parted ways. She left on her adventures to Afghanistan a few days later. We kept in touch over email and she posted stories on her blog about her travels.

Two years later, in 2006, she returned to Portland for a brief visit. We met again at the same location for another hour and later that day I wrote a post about her on my blog.

She left Portland again soon after on a trip to Cambodia for a non-profit. From there she went to Los Angeles in the Fall. She lived there until early May 2007, when she returned to Portland. A day later we started dating.

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